Both my sessions this morning brought about some interesting aspects of patriarchy –
On the one hand, we cry foul as to how the patriarchal structures are not serving us any more. On the other hand, we follow rituals and traditions which strengthen the patriarchy’s stranglehold.
On the one hand, parents tell their daughters, you are not less than anyone. On the other hand, they worry about their marriageable age.
On the one hand, parents give their daughter away in donation (Kanyadaan). On the other hand, they tell her not to take any bullshit in her married home, and come back if needed. (No wonder, taking back what was given away as donation – with great fanfare, carries so much shame.)
On the one hand, women want to be equal to their men. On the other hand, they fast for their longevity (Karva Chauth). They also fast for their sons; supporting the inherent bias of gender inequality.
On the one hand, women wish to earn money for financial independence. On the other hand, they expect their husbands to take care of the household expenses – just like a man should.
On the one hand, women want their men to be passive and obedient. On the other hand, they want them to behave like ‘men’ (whatever that implies.)
There is too much confusion inside us. And this confusion somehow supports patriarchy.