My youngest brother was my mother’s favorite child. He could get away with anything in our home because Ma would say, “Iski Janampatri banaate waqt Panditji ne kaha tha ki isko kabhi maarna mat.”
And even though Ma spoke about her mother’s son-fixation (she spoke about it even at her death-bed) Ma herself was partial to her sons. (I guess, that was the predominant program in the air and in her genes.) And we girls took it as a matter of fact. The boys were more important than us. Period. That’s how it is. We were very accepting of our status.
After my father’s death, initially Ma bloomed, but later felt kind-of-lost. And that’s when she shunted between her 6 children – not fully satisfied for long- with any arrangement.
In all this, her two sons and their progeny remained her extra-special people; and her four daughters remained her loyal supporters (almost like loyal slaves) – both physical and emotional. But now we, the daughters, didn’t take this arrangement very kindly – we grumbled.
This morning, in the meditation, one thought which appeared with great certainty in it was, “Akshay was right in his choices. He put his wife above his mother, and that was the right choice.” The thought felt so right in my bones that I could feel its authenticity.
Later, while reminiscing about it, it occurred to me that in almost every coaching session I do, I speak about a family being like the solar system, with the man being the Sun, the woman the Earth, and the children the satellites; and how when a child becomes the sun/ earth in their own solar system, should disentangle from the original orbit.
My brothers could achieve this disentanglement. We sisters couldn’t. And I was one of the most entangled ones.
Today, I own this energy-entanglement and apologize to my brothers – especially to Akshay – for doubting their decision.
Things are not always as they seem. 🙂 We are made to practice, what we preach. 😉 😉 😉